The View from Bolton Street

She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

This retort to Jesus stings. There really is no way around it. Jesus makes a trip to Tyre and Sidon, north of Israel. It is a Gentile country, and a Canaanite woman approaches him asking for help.  Jesus' response is to say "It is not fair to take away the children's food and give it to the dogs." 

Now. AT BEST. Jesus is trying to make a joke. AT BEST. No matter how you interpret this, he is likening Canaanites to dogs and reminds his disciples that he is only called to the lost sheep of Israel. There may be many a lot of contextual reasons for Jesus' comment, many likely lost to history. We can even go ahead and put the blame on Matthew, the collator of this Gospel. But we still have to wrestle with Jesus saying this and, perhaps even harder to deal with, that the woman talks back to Jesus and he agrees with her. 

There are a lot of directions you can run with this text. But for me, as a man in a position of power, I prefer the simplest. 

It is not a sin to be wrong. It is not a sin to correct your bad actions. And it is not a sin to acknowledge when you messed up. 

Let me say that again: 

It is not a sin to be wrong. It is not a sin to correct your bad actions. And it is not a sin to acknowledge when you messed up.

When you are in leadership - whether in the church, government, the private sector, or even in your own home, humility is such an important and yet often forgotten attribute. But as Jesus demonstrates, there is tremendous power in humility. Jesus is able to both model to his disciples how to recover from a mistake, and to model to the Canaanites how to break down barriers between cultures, especially when there is mistrust and pain involved.

It would have been easy for Jesus to follow his disciples lead and ignore the woman, or to respond antagonistically to the challenge. But he takes another path. A path that perhaps more leaders today should take.

He listens. He reflects. and he responds by changing not just his words but his actions, then AND going forward. This is not a one off appeasement to avoid getting cancelled. Jesus from this point on changes his view on salvation for the gentiles which is pretty good news for us.

What else could change in your life if someone showed a little more humility? What could change if you did as well?

The View from Bolton Street

When the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified . . . and cried out in fear.  But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, “Tale heart, it is I, do not be afraid.” Matthew 14:26-27

Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, ‘You of little faith, why did you doubt?’ Matthew 14:31

Well, Jesus, it’s easy for you to say do not be afraid.  You’re the one walking on water. Peter tried to come to you, but fear overcame him, and he began to sink.  Jesus grabbed his hand and said: “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” 

How many times have we heard that line in Scripture—do not be afraid.  The most commonly repeated phrase in the entire Bible, in both the Old Testament (over 100 times) and New Testament (about 44 times), is “Fear not! or “Have no fear!” or “Do not be afraid!” or “Be not afraid!’ 

Everyone is afraid sometimes, about something.  I have a fear of heights, snakes and other crawling things, and lately, falling.  We live in a world that offers plenty of chances to fear.  We can also creatively think of new things to be fearful of.  So perhaps, that’s why the phrase “do not be afraid” is often repeated in Scripture.  Trusting in God will counteract the effects of fear. Even though the admonition is not to be afraid, the implication that trusting is having faith in God.

This week, on August 15th, is the celebration of the Feast of the Virgin Mary. The Annunciation is the perfect story of fear that turned into faith.  A young woman, a virgin, is visited by the angel Gabriel who has been sent from God.  Gabriel says: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus.”  Not only is Mary perplexed but I believe she was also afraid.  Gabriel tells her that her cousin, Elizabeth, who is advanced in age, is also with child.  Gabriel says: ‘For nothing will be impossible with God.’ Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’  All her fears and doubts were erased by her faith in God.

If we don’t focus on the fear but increase our faith, then we have nothing to be afraid of.  Focus on our relationship with God, focus on God’s nearness, focus on that light that burns inside of us to erase some of the darkness of the world.

Be Not Afraid (song by St. Louis Jesuits) Chorus:

Be not afraid,

I go before you always

Come follow me

And I will give you rest.

The View from Bolton Street

Leaps of Faith

At the end of June, we heard Father Grey’s announcement and call to action.  An Afghan family that was being granted asylum to the United States would soon arrive in Baltimore, and would be aided by Memorial Church.  As a member of the Memorial Vestry, my mind had dwelt on the pressing financial issues that our church faced post-COVID. Would we be able to take on this new challenge, and would we have the resources and energy to bring an unfamiliar family into our care? Nevertheless, I found myself raising my hand to help create a Welcoming Circle for the Afghan family.
With less than a week's notice, volunteers from Memorial, the Episcopal Refugee and Immigrant Center Alliance (ERICA), St. Thomas at Owings Mills, and the Chizuk Amuno Synagogue sprang into action.  This was my first introduction to ERICA and to members of the other houses of worship, but I found myself quickly and happily drawn into their cooperative fray.  I was thankful for their advice, as many of them had had experience working with refugees and asylum seekers, and their guidance gave us a format to support the newcomers.  In record time, the volunteers, including a few Afghans who had only arrived a few months prior, transformed two unoccupied floors of an old house, quietly cluttered with stored items and years of dust, into a new home and refuge for the newcomers.  Furniture and household items were procured, and a positive energy radiated into the house.

I did not know very much about the family that Memorial would be supporting, but I did wonder about the threats that they might have endured, the traumas that had forced them to leave.  I wondered what hopes and fears they harbored as they left behind family and home, as they made a leap of faith into the unknown.  I wondered how they viewed America and Americans - what they would expect from us when they arrived?

“God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”
Psalm 46:1-3

Of course, I need not have worried about my fellow Memorialites feeling stretched thin.  We have welcomed the new family and witnessed the joy of their reunion with loved ones. Many parishioners continue working tirelessly to help address medical, food, clothing and scholastic needs. I am thankful for those who have shown the family local resources and the charms of our neighborhood, and who have helped them adapt to the quirks of living in a lovely but old building.

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:11

Joys aside, the road ahead for our guests is long and uncertain, and I expect that we will experience miscommunication and misunderstandings as we learn to understand each other.  The family is eager to build new lives in the United States, and Memorial is committed to help them on the road to independence. But I understand from my own experiences, as an American transplanted back to the United States after a childhood in Singapore, that adaptation to American life will require patience from all sides. As the boundaries of unfamiliarity and language fade, however, I am hopeful that we will get to know the family well.  I look forward to hearing their stories, to learn more about their extended family, culture and about Afghanistan. I hope we truly get to know them in a meaningful way, as members of our community.

The first few months of the family’s arrival are particularly critical.  We are partnering with the Samaritan Community to collect non-perishable foods, toiletries and supplies for the family during this time.  Please contact Wendy Yap at wendy.yapper@gmail.com or other members of the Memorial Vestry for more information on how to provide support.

The View from Bolton Street

Reflecting on my journey developing Parenthesis on Parenting, I think of my walk with Christ. The two journeys began at the same time.

Throughout my professional career, I have chosen many paths of serving others, from healthcare to running a food pantry. In my personal life, I have taken several spiritual paths. The goal for both has always been to find purpose and help others. Through prayer, diligence, and obedience, God has shown me to use what he has taken me through and saved me from as a ministry to help others. He told me to use my life as a testimony to help others. I told God I had overcome adversity and never wanted to shine a light on my hardships. God told me to use my life as a ministry to help others.

Ultimately, that's what I did. I looked at my family, I looked at my friends, and I looked at my community for ways to use my journey to help others. I looked at all I overcame through Christ Jesus and discovered my calling and purpose: family restoration. We live in a city where children cry for help, and we are searching for a solution. The solution to this problem starts by helping mothers and caregivers. This is why I began Parenthesis on Parenting and my ministry to help mothers in need.

During one of Memorial's Lunch and Learn Reparations events, I openly discussed the organization's mission and goals. The Rev. Grey Maggiano, our Rector, asked if we could schedule an appointment to discuss things further. After that conversation, he asked me when I would be ready to move from contemplation to action. His response was the confirmation I needed. God affirmed my journey, and through a partnership, he orchestrated the means to begin Parenthesis on Parenting was granted.

Philippians 4:6

Philippians 4:19

The View from Bolton Street

After starting today’s reflection several times on various topics, then deleting (the 2023 version of scrunched up pieces of paper on the floor), I looked around the room for a sign. A book that was given to me after my dad died caught my eye. The cover is teal blue and stands out on the bookshelf. It is a “prayer of the day” book, which has always felt “too churchy” to me. [Can I say that in a church reflection?] However, thinking, “What harm can it do?”, I decided to look up today’s message. And bam [face palm emoji].

“Bring me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn’t have. Do not hide from your fear or pretend it isn’t there. Anxiety that you hide in the recesses of your heart will give birth to fear of fear. Bring your anxieties out into the Light of My Presence, where we can deal with them together.”*

The best messages are the ones you didn’t even know you needed. I read this and I physically felt a lifting of fear and anxiety that I didn’t realize I was holding on to. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised. Between work and home, there are a variety of transitions going on and some have unknown outcomes. Through writing this reflection, I’m realizing that I haven’t given myself space or grace to consider how I feel about these transitions – whether it be a new boss or a new school.

What fear or anxiety might you be holding on to? Remember that God is there to help lighten the load. Take time to reflect and see where God is in the situation.

- Stacy Wells

*An excerpt from the book “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young. The July 19 message is from Ephesians 6:16; 1 John 1:5-7; and Isaiah 12:2.

The View from Bolton Street

It really is “All About Love” in Baltimore.

Today concludes the Episcopal Church’s “All About Love” Festival here in Baltimore.  Many of us came to the Festival/Conference/Revival not entirely sure why we were there. Was this about evangelism? Racial reconciliation? Was this a ‘make-up’ conference for General Convention? A vanity project? WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? 

Let me say, quite truthfully, that none of that mattered.  Because what we remembered when we got down to the convention center is that, above all, it is good for us to be together. It is easy to forget, after all, that the value of gathering communally is usually NOT the content of workshops, programs, trainings, whatever it is.  

The value of gathering together is the small conversations with new and old friends, the ability to share dreams, hopes, visions, ideals, and to contemplate new ways of being with each other.  

Perhaps the true genius of the Stations of the Cross walks we have been doing is not in the selection of the sites, or the prayerful petitions and responses, but in the time built in between stops for people to reflect, pray, converse, share, and wonder with no set agenda.  

Because it is in those moments, the unplanned, unscheduled encounters with the divine that we truly see love in action.  That is when we see God at work, when we allow space for the Holy Spirit to act in our lives.  

Perhaps, not everything need have a purpose? Perhaps we should make time in our life for unplanned interactions.  For quiet. To experience God’s love, to taste God’s joy, and to experience God’s hope. 

I hope you will allow some time to be surprised this season.  

The View from Bolton Street

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

Romans 7:15

I feel you, Paul. This is basically me when I eat too much pizza. Or “forget” to go to the gym. 

But seriously, this is Paul at his best. Human. Down to earth. Connecting with us. Reminding us that sin is not always some big evil awful scary thing, but is just the reality of being human. We all sin, we all fall short, we all need grace. Even Paul. Even you. Even Me. 

The rest of this passage is admittedly not very clear to our modern ears, but in Paul’s day there was a lot of discussion about the applicability of the law if Jesus came to abolish/fulfill it. Basically, if Jesus came to forgive our sins, then why should we worry about following the law? Can’t we just say sorry and we’re good? (I had a roommate once who argued this point) 

But ‘the law’ does not exist to provide salvation. It’s just there to keep us on the right path. There are thousands of old testament commandments and laws. Thousands more were interpreted after the fact. And while the Christian interpretation of “It all boils down to Love God, Love your Neighbor” is helpful… it clearly does not fill in all the gaps. 

And I have bad news. I don’t know which laws really matter and which don’t anymore than you do. (Please see above comment regarding pizza) Sure some seem pretty obvious: murder, stealing, adultery. But we have a whole lot of very polemical instructions around human sexuality, and less polemical instructions on mixed fabrics and tattoos. Don’t worry, though, neither Paul nor Jesus expect us to make it up on our own.

A mentor described sin and the law as being a little like pinball. They exist to keep us on the field and bounce us back into right relationship with God. They are gentle (and sometimes less than gentle) reminders that something is not going quite right, but can be if we listen to those signs and symbols when we find ourselves doing the things that we hate, the things that make us feel distant from God and from others.

Now, people usually prefer something a little simpler. “Do this and you go to heaven. Do that and you don’t.” The Bible for dummies, or something like that. I appreciate that desire, I really do, but the reality of God’s divine love and of our human existence just doesn’t allow for simple step-by-step guides.

We all sin. We all fall short. Sometimes intentionally, but usually not. There is no shame in making a mistake, even when the world tries to tell you there is. We just shift our focus and try to be more intentional about doing better next time. And there is certainly no shame in being who God made you to be, even if others say it is sinful and wrong. God doesn’t make mistakes, and if God does, you aren’t one of them.

Announcing Memorial's 2023 Scholarship Recipients

In June, Memorial awarded four scholarships to Baltimore City School Students based on their excellent academic performance, commitment to their community, and generosity of spirit. All four awardees are graduating from Baltimore City Public Schools, and all are attending highly ranked four-year colleges or universities: Howard University, Clark Atlanta University, North Carolina A and T, and University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

These four students have an average GPA of 3.9, have taken 2-5 AP classes each, and have participated in every club, sport, activity and everything else you could ask of them. They are excellent students and humans who would make a fine addition to any college campus,

Congratulations to these outstanding students!

Asia Thompson (Western High School)

Braiya Ellis (City College)

Adaora Okoye (Baltimore Polytechnic Institute)

Not Pictured: Cynthia Leila Tate (Western High School)

The View from Bolton Street

Matthew 10:40-42

Jesus said, “Whoever welcomes you welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet in the name of a prophet will receive a prophet's reward; and whoever welcomes a righteous person in the name of a righteous person will receive the reward of the righteous; and whoever gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones in the name of a disciple-- truly I tell you, none of these will lose their reward.”

Hospitality is one of the charisms of the Christian Church. Or at least it should be. True we have waxed and waned in our ability to love without judgment and to welcome the stranger, but on the whole, this is still something the church does rather well. After all, this is how the church started; welcoming strangers into a new community and making them feel at home. 

In the last year, our city of Baltimore, and particularly our neighborhoods of reservoir and bolton hill have become more practiced in this as we have welcomed a large population of Afghan refugees here.  Mt Royal School has upwards of 30 students, most of whom live nearby with friends and family.  

And now it is likely, God Willing, that Memorial will also become a place of refuge and welcome for a family that has made a rather perilous journey to our borders. As detailed here: Fleeing Afghanistan, U.S. Allies Risk Journey Through Darién Gap - The New York Times (nytimes.com) this second wave of Afghan refugees have crossed oceans, land borders, and come by foot, car, bus and boat, and finally by plane to seek out new homes.  Volunteers from ERICA and Memorial staff are working this week to get the Rectory in condition for a family to move in, and we are hoping that you will consider staying after Church on Sunday to clean, straighten, arrange, make beds, set tables, stock cabinets and otherwise get our Rectory set up to be home for this family.

This is, of course, a blessing to us as well. First, the opportunity to exercise our gifts of charity and hospitality, but also to learn and share in the life of a family so different from many of our own, and yet with much in common.  If you are interested in helping on Sunday, please contact Wendy Yapp as she is coordinating the volunteers, and if you would like to make a financial contribution to support the family you can donate to Memorial's Afghan relief fund online or via check.  

We will share more about the family as we are able, but for now we ask that you keep them in their prayers as they seek to make the last part of their journey safely.

The View from Bolton Street

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house, there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also.

John 14:1-3

My memories of my grandmother all have a certain dream-like quality. You know, where there are little tinges of pink and green on the outsides - and you are kind of floating through everything, not really touching the ground? 

Perhaps this is fitting for her. She had an intoxicating smile, and could make one feel, if only for a moment, like they were the most important person in the world. 

And yet often those moments were fleeting, and you never knew quite when she would appear back in your life. When your story would connect back with her story. 

Perhaps it is fitting for another reason - that while I don’t know most of the story, I do understand her childhood was at times the stuff of nightmares. She certainly had a troubled heart, as Jesus speaks about in the Gospel. She deserved a little dreaming. 

Perhaps this explains her fervent faith - this promise of a safe dwelling place with God in the next life.  And like the disciples, and us, she did not quite know the way to this place. But she, and we, have this promise from Christ himself — I am the way. The truth. And the life. 

A perfect father, a mother without sin, a safe dwelling place — these promises of the Christian faith offered everything she could not find in this life.  Perhaps that’s why she was such a good gift giver. It was, it must be said, one of her talents, she sent my daughter a long “fur” coat with a Dalmatian collar  that she wore EVERYWHERE during summers in Miami. It was her princess coat and she loved it.  There is a line from scripture about God being a good giver of gifts. When I was ordained she managed to gift me two Chasubles in the appropriate colors despite not ever having seen me celebrate at the altar or preach from the pulpit. 

She did not know quite how to love, but she tried. 

So where does that leave us? The inheritors of this imperfect love? Now usually at a funeral I preach about resurrection. And that for those we love but see no longer — we practice resurrection by identifying those pieces of our loved ones life and story that resonated with us and continuing to live those out. To keep their story alive — to practice resurrection in this life so that more may come to believe in resurrection in the next.  

It gets more complicated when the legacy is more complicated though, doesn’t it?

Perhaps then - we should practice the reconciliation here that we believe our loved ones are experiencing right now in heaven. Can we let go of foolish pride, can we free ourselves from the fear of being hurt, can we open our hearts to give and receive love without need for reciprocity! Free from guilt, from comparing accounts, without any agenda. 

If we can begin to do that… we might see some resurrection here. Now. With people we love and would like to see a bit longer. 

The most recent memory of my grandmother is a little more ridiculous. For Mother’s Day a few years ago, Monica sent flowers to my grandmother.  The company said the order was undeliverable.  Monica checked the address, and had them try again. Again- undeliverable. A third time they tried and finally Monica got a call from the local florist “the customer rejected the flowers.” Rejected the flowers. 

I didn’t know that was a thing you could do.

One must be in great pain to reject such a simple expression of love, especially from someone they had not seen in quite some time. I don’t harbor any ill will towards my grandmother. But I do hope that I can learn from, that we all can learn, to not say no to the flowers. 

We all have people in our lives that we are less than connected with, who we could stand to reconcile with. Now may not be the time, but someday they may send flowers. Someday they, or you,  may reach out in love. Someday they may seek to reconcile.   

And when that moment happens, let’s not let our hearts grow so cold that we can’t say yes. Let’s never say no to the flowers, ok? Let us be willing to receive love.